Them: Oh, so you’re not really from LA.
Me: Well, yes I am.
Them: Yeah, but like, not really.
Me: I live in the City of Los Angeles. My mayor is the mayor of Los Angeles. I was educated in the Los Angeles Unified School District. My public transportation system (ha) is the LA City public transportation system.
Them: But you’re not from LA the way like, someone from Santa Monica is from LA.
Me: Actually, Santa Monica is technically an incorporated city, it’s not really a part of LA.
Them: Yeah, but it’s like, more so.
Me: *long sigh*
And that’s about where I give up because I’m pretty sure no one is interested in hearing about the rape of the Owens Valley at a party where it’s hard enough to hear the name someone is shouting at you. And it’s not that simple an issue, either. Because, as any Valley native can tell you, for all that you resent being disassociated from LA, you know in your heart that, technicalities aside, in many ways you are. You know that you live in one of the most reviled regions of one of the most reviled cities in one of the most reviled countries in the world. And yet you take a strange, ferocious pride in it. While I often heap criticism on it myself, I am incredibly defensive when others criticize it (in no small part because, to my mind, the criticism of outsiders is usually misinformed). How can I feel so protective over a part of town I wouldn’t even want to live in if I moved back to LA after school? Like I said, the answer is complicated, but I think it has something to do with my inescapable impulse to root for the underdog.
So I guess, in a sense this is a Valley Girl’s apology of the Valley, and I mean apology in the original sense, a defense of sorts. My goal here is to portray the Valley as I have known it, warts and all, the things I hate and love, the things that are unique to this misunderstood corner of the world. Granted, my point of view will not be all-encompassing; I readily admit that my familiarity is more with the East and Mid-Valley regions, so my insights are limited mostly to North Hollywood, Studio City, Valley Glen, Valley Village, Van Nuys, Sherman Oaks. A snapshot, really, but trust me, it’s fertile ground.
And with that, let me welcome you into the belly of the beast: The San Fernando Valley, where the parking is free and the air conditioning is no joke.
